Happy Tuesday!! Guess what that means? It's Talk to Me Tuesday! But first... I needed to post a VERY SPECIAL "My Readers Are Heroes". I found this story the other day on Twitter and my heart was immediately touched and moved to do anything & everything that I could. Please watch this video, read her story, and SHARE IT. Please spread this allll over the web so that we can help this woman whose bravery brings tears to my eyes every time I think of her.
As someone who has never felt comfortable in my own skin and in the past used to harm myself (not anymore Praise God!) I am overwhelmed by her efforts to step forward and not accept defeat, but work to get comfortable in the beautiful body she has. She is truly a hero not only for me, but for many people out there. So glad that God brought her into my life! Without further ado.. here's Annette =)
My name is Annette Benavides. I was born and raised in San Antonio, Texas. My entire life, I have struggled (sometime successfully, mostly unsuccessfully) with weight. I use food at first as something to ease my boredom. Around age 17, I began to realize that I did not value myself. I was cute, popular enough, but a little larger than the average girl. I started self harming myself around the same time and sought counseling. I mostly "got better."
By the time I went to college in Houston, I decided I needed to be a new person. I got immersed in the goth scene and started a pattern of self-destructive behaviors- cutting, starving, binging, poor sexual choices. Around the same time, my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I ended up leaving school to be with my mom (and to perhaps save myself). I went through months of frequent therapies and doctors and medications that made me fall asleep in class. By the time she passed away in 2002, I was so messed up that my weight had ballooned and I was in extremely unhealthy relationships.
After I graduated from college, I decided to make some changes. I dieted (Atkins) and lost a lot of weight. I became a runner- running became my therapy. But the old patterns slowly resumed- too much exercise, late nights at the club, too much alcohol and not enough food. And VERY poor decisions about men. I was self-destructing again and didn't even know it. I was using my new body, my new "cool" self as a way to validate myself, as a way to boost my self-esteem. Because of it, I suffered through many painful and emotionally abusive relationships. And I was no saint myself.
At the end of 2004, I met my future husband. His dedication to music and his independence inspired me. We became fast friends, then lovers. I moved to Austin to be close to him. In the course of our relationship, my weight ballooned even more- I was too happy and content to worry about myself. Finally, in January of 2009, I decided I was ready for a change. I wanted to get healthy, and mostly, I wanted to be attractive again. Despite being married, I craved attention. I became a runner again... I personal trained 3x a week. I ate better, I counted calories. By the time August rolled around, I was my lowest weight since 2002. And I felt fantastic- like a whole new person. Not a person who relied on attention to validate myself, but a person who felt accomplished and confident with myself.
My husband I decided to have a baby- and got immediately pregnant. I immediately began to gain weight, despite nightly 2 mile walks. I just indulged in my cravings with no regard to what was healthy. My weight once again ballooned. I had a relatively easy pregnancy, no complications other than severe pelvic girdle pain- exacerbated by my weight. At 37 weeks of pregnant, I was tired and just waiting to go into labor.
One evening, at 38.5 weeks, I realized I hadn't felt the baby move in several hours. I did all the things they tell you to do- drank cold water, lay on left side, ate food... nothing. We were renting a doppler... I pulled it out with dread. Sure enough, there was no sound. We went into Labor and Delivery where they confirmed that our daughter Valentina had died. I went through 22 hours of labor to deliver a 7lb 9oz beautiful baby girl. And then I went through hell for the next year.
My husband and I tried for seven months to get pregnant and it finally took at the end of February 2011. On March 18th, at 7 weeks, I had a miscarriage. Our second loss in less than a year. I immediately went through alternating periods of both crushing depression and feverish attempts to fix my life.
At this point, I have decided I need a firm kick in the pants to keep going... I am auditioning for the Biggest Loser, as well as the show Heavy. My hope is that someone will see my story, or watch my video, and they will help me to achieve my goals: I want to get healthy. I want to regain confidence. I want to feel like my body is ready for another pregnancy- a viable one. And more than anything, I want to motivate people- I want to be the cheerleader I used to be. I want to give courage to women who suffer from pregnancy loss in silence. I want to show people its possible to go to hell and back- and live your best life.
Please- I strongly encourage you all to watch and share my video- share my story- I want to honor Valentina's life by showing her than her mom is not someone who is crushed by grief, but someone who has risen from the ashes.
Vimeo:
This video was created for my audition to be on the Biggest Loser show... I want to lose weight and regain my confident self after gaining weight and suffering two pregnancy losses in under a year http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Thanks Annette! She has my full support and I would LOVE for us to help get her there!! Thanks darlings! Also.. if you are a super special lovey and you share this story, please let me know via
this GoogleForm and you just might score some goodies! (Ending Tuesday, April 19th at 8PM PST) I hate to "bribe" people into sharing something as wonderful for this so let's just say its a chance to win as repayment for being amazing, shall we? I really believe in Annette & this journey. If you would like to share Annette's video, please use these links to embed & share.
Embed code:
<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="640" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/
Thank you so much!! <3
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